Day 52

Today started out fabulous and ended with a big suck. I rested…. Got out of bed at 2pm. I think I deserved it. Then, I went to a friends house for a MLM jewelry party (that I didn’t want to attend and have told her many times I’m not interested. But, she pulled out the ‘would you come and help me’ card. I’m such a sucker). It wasn’t bad until she offered me a drink. We’ve known each other for 2+ years so she knows my story. Why would she offer a recovered alcoholic a drink?!? I did the cheese, meat, and bread food prep. She cut the fruit. That was on top of asking me to help her shop for the alcohol and food for the party. I believe she wants me to succeed, but dang it! She always puts temptations in my way, questions everything I’m doing with negativity, doesn’t help me one iota to resist foods I shouldn’t eat, and now she’s convinced I need a man to take care of me! I really need to get stronger or rethink this friendship. Anyway, I DID NOT eat or drink anything at the party. 4 years and 9 months sober will not be wasted on some stupid party I didn’t want to be at!!! On my way home I stopped at WM for an avocado and somehow managed to leave the store with a 4.5 serving bag of SkinnyPop. Yes, you guessed it.  I ate the entire bag when I got home. I haven’t eaten 2000 calories in one day since day 0. Not only did I over eat, I also rented 2 movies. One was a total bomb, the other I’d give 2.5/5. It was just a tough day for me even though I managed to stay in bed watching Crossfit Regionals until 2pm. 

Being alone all the time isn’t a good thing, but neither is spending time with people who clearly want you to fail even though they act like they want you to succeed. 

‘Who cares about calories, avocados are healthy fat.’ This isn’t about ‘healthy fat,’ this is about calories. Plain and simple. Did you know that nuts and avocados cannot be labeled ‘healthy’ as their fat content exceeds FDA standards?  

I think I just need some time alone. 


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