Day 139

I’ve really been struggling with why God would give me the ability to run and do Crossfit then take it all away then give it back and take it away again. Like to the point where I want to give up on this healthy journey and just be fat and miserable. I’ve always wanted to run; I’d see people running and it would cause a stir in my heart. I was slow, but I loved it. It is a desire of my heart! Now I have to face the fact that I’ll never run again or be able to perfect my clean and jerk. There’s more out there to keep me active, but I want more than that. Was I too focused on exercise and weigh loss? Maybe He knew I might get hit by a car? How can I inspire others doing the same old thing everyone else is doing? Then I see this picture and start bawling in a gas station parking lot. It’s not much comfort, but I know it’s Him telling me there’s a reason and He’ll reveal it when I’m ready.

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