Most days I think, “I really should make a blog post about that,’ but end up not doing it. So my goal for the next month is to journal my thoughts when they happen without regard for incoherence. I think that this will help me keep better track of my thoughts and emotions, and also things that I want to do or further explore. Pastor Jenn once said in her small group that she keeps sermon notes and has notebooks full of them (as do I) and that she may never look back at them, but they are there just in case she needs to look back as a reference or revelation. I’ll make this post today, however I may backdate a couple of posts so a) I’m not posting too much on one day and b) so that my thoughts over the past few weeks of not blogging will somewhat match with the days and how I was feeling.
You may have noticed that I haven’t posted my weekly weigh-in and photos for a few weeks. This is because of the massive back slide that happened a month ago. Day 140 I weighed 253.6; finally I made it to the -50lb mark. Something in me snapped… Day 147 was the incredible and almost unbelievable gain of 12.4 lbs in just one 7 day period! I even amazed myself at this feat. I weighed 266.0. Day 154 I weighed 263.3. I’m not sure how I lost any weight, but I was thankful for the loss in the midst of eating garbage and not going to the gym. Day 161, I weighed 262.2. Day 168 262.7. I did try most days, but still struggled.
41.3lbs lost total. It’s not easy to be excited since I’ve been here for several months. Staying the weight is a constant reminder that I am in a battle that I am not winning.
As a bit of an encouragement, went to Lane Bryant today to try on some clothes. I wasn’t as comfortable as I was several weeks ago, but it was ok. I MUST lose the weight back so the shorts and capris I’ve previously purchased will fit when I get to Brazil.